greet the new century. And they've been 40 full, rich years. She began
as a glamorous airline stewardess when she was introduced at Toy Fair in
1959. She soared into space as an astronaut in 1974, ran for president
in 1992, and, in 1997, she bore disability bravely, folding her
first-ever bending legs into a wheelchair to become a role model once
again for a newly identified market.
In every incarnation, nationality, and skin tone, she's perfectly
turned out,with accessories galore at her long slender fingertips. She's
Overman, she's the Cosmo Girl, she has it all. So, what will Mattel
think of next as the company meets the challenge of Barbie turning 40?
Why fight age? Why not capitalize on it in every way possible? Here are
some ideas Mattel might consider for a past 40 Barbie:
Bifocals Barbie: Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames
in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print
editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
Hot Flash Barbie: Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn
beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead! With
hand-held fan and tiny tissues.
Facial Hair Barbie: As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers
grow! Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
Cook's Arms Barbie: Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new,
roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too: muumuus are
back! Cellulite cream and loofah sponge optional.
Bunion Barbie: Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely
taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with
this pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules. Colors:
pink, rose, blush.
No More Wrinkles Barbie: Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines
with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive
age-blasting cosmetics.
Soccer Mom Barbie: All that experience as a cheerleader is really
paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for
Babs and Ken Jr. With minivan in robin's egg blue or white, and cooler
filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
Midlife Crisis Barbie: It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change,
and Bruce (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along
with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the
Napa Valley to open a Bed and Breakfast. Comes with real tape of
"Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."
Single Mother Barbie: There's not much time for primping anymore! Ken's
shacked up with the Swedish au pair in the Dream House and Barbie's
across town with Babs and Ken Jr. in a fourth-floor walk-up. Barbie's
selling off her old gowns and accessories to raise rent money. Complete
garage sale kit included.
Recovery Barbie: Too many parties have finally caught up with the
ultimate party girl. Now she does 12 steps instead of dance steps! Clean
and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with little copy
of The Big Book and six-pack of Diet Coke.
Who knows when Barbie will have outlived her usefulness? From Dream
House to Nursing Home (both new and improved -- wheelchair-accessible
and retrofitted to conform to ADA code requirements), the possibilities
(not to mention the accessories) are endless.
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