Virus Alert!

Ellen Degeneres virus - Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

Monica Lewinsky virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Titanic virus - Makes your whole computer go down.

Disney virus - Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

Mike Tyson virus - Quits after one byte.

Prozac virus - Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

Sharon Stone virus - Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's
there.

Lorena Bobbit virus - Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

Tim Allen virus - Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon
contact.

Woody Allen virus - Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter
card.

Saddam Hussein virus - Won't let you into any of your programs.

Tonya Harding virus - Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.

George Michaels virus - Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess
data buildup.

Joey Buttafuoco virus - Only attacks minor files.

X-files virus - All your Icons start shape shifting.

Spice Girl virus - Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.

Ronald Reagan virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus. -Searches your hard drive for old files and
deletes them.

Sony Bono virus - Just when you get surfing the web, a firewall appears
out of nowhere.

Martha Stewart virus - Takes all your files, sorts them by category and
folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop.

Oprah Winfrey virus - Your 200 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80 MB,
and then slowly expands to 300 MB.

AT and T virus - Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you
are getting.

MCI virus - Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much
for the AT and T virus.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
back.