11. Thou shalt not stick thy rod in thy staff.
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Q: What did Monica Lewinsky say when asked how her new boyfriend
compares to Bill Clinton?
A: Close but no cigar
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As Air Force One prepares to land, the captain makes his customary
request over the loudspeaker: "Mr. President, would you please return
the stewardess to the upright position and prepare to land?"
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Q: What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?
A: A screwdriver turns in screws, Clinton screws interns!
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Q: Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a new national
bird?
A: The spread eagle.
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A reporter asked Clinton one day. "Was Monica lying?"
Clinton responded by saying. "No, she was on her knees."
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Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 am?
A: She wants to make sure that she is the first lady.
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The Spelling Bee... Dan Quayle, Frank Gifford and Bill Clinton were in
a spelling contest. Unbelievably, Dan Quayle won! He was the only one of
the three who knew that 'harass' was one word.
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Q: How many White House Interns does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they are too busy screwing the President.
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When women in Washington D.C. were asked if they would have sex with
the President, 86% said "Not again."
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The Lost Testimony
Juror Number 17, "Mr. President, please answer this truthfully,
honestly and directly. Was your sexual encounter with Ms. Flowers as
satisfying as with Ms. Lewinsky?"
The President, after thoughtful consideration, replies, "Close, but no
cigar."
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Clinton's team of advisors has offered the following defense: Clinton
NEVER told Lewinsky to lie in deposition! He told her to lie in THIS
position....!!!
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Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
A: They were both upset when Bill finished first.
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Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town.
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Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?
A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.
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Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?
A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.
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