F word

This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies that he used the "F-word" over the weekend.

The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language."

The man responds that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-word". The priest sighs and tells him to continue.

"Well father I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church."

The priest asks, "And you got upset over that and swore?"

The man replies, "No, that wasn't why I swore. On the first tee I duck-hooked my drive well left into the trees."

The priest says, "And that's when you swore."

The man replied, a little testily because of the constant interruptions, "No, it wasn't. When I walked up the fairway, I noticed my ball got a lucky bounce and I had a clear shot to the green. However, before I could hit the ball, a squirrel ran by, grabbed my ball and scurried up a tree."

The priest let out a breath and queried, "Is that when you swore?"

The man replies, "No, because the squirrel came out of the tree, ran across and put down the ball within five inches of the hole."

The priest screams, "Don't tell me you missed the f***ing putt!!!