The Five Stages of Sex

1st is Smurf sex. This is where you do it until you're both blue in
the face.

2nd is kitchen sex. This is the honeymoon phase where you do it in
every room of the house, including the kitchen.

3rd is bedroom sex. This is after you've been married for a while,
maybe have a couple of kids, so you do it in the bedroom.

4th is hallway sex. This is where you pass one another in the hallway
and say, "Screw you".

The final stage is courtroom sex. This is where you go to court and
your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.